ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I currently don't understand fingers.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
