I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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