a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
