Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
