Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
