I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
