think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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