I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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