I haven't been this sober since birth.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
