It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
