Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She bit a glass in half.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
