Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
