Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
