So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
