Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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