sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
