just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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