super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
