i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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