Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
