i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
