And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
