yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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