I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
