He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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