How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
