Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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