So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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