New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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