and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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