threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
3pm strippers are depressing
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
