We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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