In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
