Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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