party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
