sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
