It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
