just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My balls are so social today.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize