So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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