I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
