The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
