I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
