another moral hangover. fuck.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
