Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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