i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
