I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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