she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My vagina just recognized that song.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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