some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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