It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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