Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
