But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
