Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Randomize
