Just fell off a train. Bad.
"it" just moved
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
