He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
