we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
