real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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