if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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