I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
