I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
