All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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